- You can’t fight me, you’re miniature.
- Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
- I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.
- You know, it only takes four muscles to just extend your arm and bitchslap the twat.
- Congratulations on being an awful bitch who’s completely oblivious to the fact that everyone hates you.
- Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- My business isn’t your business; so unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my arse.
- I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times already.
- I would retaliate against your snotty remark, but since you resemble a garden gnome, I’d say the joke is on you.
- I thought I saw your face on my newsfeed but it turns out it was just a picture of a potato.
- You want to walk out of my life, there’s the door. Hell, I’ll even hold it open for you.
- I don’t do fashion, I am fashion.
- Somewhere out there there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breath. I think you owe it an apology.
- I’m only single because I’m too sassy for everyone.
- Bitch please, have you seen me? I’m a princess.
- I think, therefore I’m single.
- Life’s too short to bullshit.
- If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
- When in doubt, freak ‘em out.
- I’d rather die my way than live yours.
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.
- I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
- It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat.
- Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
- Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
- If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
a hundred random starters
below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)
- ❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞
- ❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞
- ❝ love is love is love is love. ❞
- ❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞
- ❝ why are you crying this time? ❞
- ❝ you will never escape. ❞
- ❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞
- ❝ everything has its consequences. ❞
- ❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞
- ❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞
- ❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞
- ❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞
- ❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞
- ❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞
- ❝ they died screaming. ❞
- ❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞
- ❝ how long have you known? ❞
- ❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞
- ❝ the law can be changed. ❞
- ❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞
- ❝ your child is adorable! ❞
- ❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞
- ❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞
- ❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞
- ❝ he adores you. ❞
- ❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞
- ❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞
- ❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞
- ❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞
- ❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞
- ❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞
- ❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞
- ❝ then kill me. ❞
- ❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞
- ❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞
- ❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞
- ❝ death is just another adventure. ❞
- ❝ stop! ❞
- ❝ let them watch. ❞
- ❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞
- ❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞
- ❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞
- ❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞
- ❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞
- ❝ you love him? ❞
- ❝ do you love me at all? ❞
- ❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞
- ❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞
- ❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞
- ❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞
- ❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞
- ❝ the king is displeased. ❞
- ❝ long live your majesty! ❞
- ❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞
- ❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞
- ❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞
- ❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞
- ❝ do you really think that? ❞
- ❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞
- ❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞
- ❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞
- ❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞
- ❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞
- ❝ are you a virgin? ❞
- ❝ I’m married. ❞
- ❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞
- ❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞
- ❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞
- ❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞
- ❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞
- ❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞
- ❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞
- ❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞
- ❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞
- ❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞
- ❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞
- ❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞
- ❝ are we going to die here? ❞
- ❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞
- ❝ I am no longer a child! ❞
- ❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞
- ❝ what if something happens to them? ❞
- ❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞
- ❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞
- ❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞
- ❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞
- ❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞
- ❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞
- ❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞
- ❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞
- ❝ this is my home. ❞
- ❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞
- ❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞
- ❝ fuck me. ❞
- ❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞
- ❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞
- ❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞
- ❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞
- ❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞
- ❝ what do I want? I want to kiss you a thousand times before undressing you & kissing every bit of your flesh a thousand more times. ❞
this doesn’t necessarily mean it will be good advice that you should follow, fyi.
slides the dash $2 …….. ship with me
Send me a symbol and I’ll tell you about…
🌟 …someone my muse trusts.
💔 …someone who broke my muse’s heart.
💕 …someone my muse loves.
😒 …someone my muse hates.
🔥…someone my muse would die for.
💀 …someone my muse would kill for.
👻 …someone my muse considers a best friend.
💘 …someone my muse has a crush on.
🔪 …someone my muse hurt in the past.
👀 …someone my muse likes, but doesn’t trust.
💩 …someone my muse dislikes, but admires.
👿 …someone my muse used to like, but doesn’t anymore.
😉 …someone my muse has had sex with.
💋 …someone my muse used to date.
😜 …someone who makes my muse laugh.
👪 …someone in my muse’s family.
👑 …someone my muse is jealous of.
👊 …someone who hates my muse.
👫 …someone who has a crush on my muse.
👌 …someone my muse has only met once, but will never forget.
🍓…someone my muse has never met, but wants to meet.
👰 …someone my muse would consider marrying.